Wednesday, April 14

AL-JIHAD-EH-JIGNA begins.

f*ck diplomacy. This mean War.

Saturday, March 6

Deeds were done. Actions committed. Change has come and gone.
Entropy has served her purpose. Evolution will decide survival.

History will repeat itself. Unless the will of man changes it. The future exists only in memories of a past no more our own. The present is nothing but promises made by well-meaning parents to ensure the fruit of their loins gets to school on time...

The worlds within. No one takes those away from you. No matter what,
these are your worlds. Chreish them. Annihilate them. You are God.

Hope becomes prayer and feelings turn bitter. The mind will revolt.
The mind is weaker than the infinite strength of a heart grounded pure.

Prayer becomes faith. Faith gives strength. Strength for the rise of purpose.

Purpose calls forth aim. Single minded. Stubborn.
Aim is a tough little S.O.B

Aim is armageddon for the masses.
I taste aim on the tip of my parched tongue. Aim will be mine.

Focus. I crave focus. Without the loss of love that comes with it.
I crave to be human, yet be a machine that learns. And survives.

I seek perfection. Attainment means the end of Dreams.
The hunt matters. Only the hunt.

We were warriors once. We will rise again. We fught should to shoulder, back to back. We will fight again. Nothing matters.

Only a perceived soul.

My words are my own. My soul is not. I bind myself with my own will.
A dreg I was and a Dreg I will be.

Beware mortals, for I dream no more. I act.

Friday, February 27

The time has come.
My Master_Attack_Plan stands ready to be expedited.
The foundations laid. Today, I strike.
Tomorrow, they will fall.

7 hours ago.

[Cube.35] i was wondering if we could speak when you come to work next...
[Cube.04] like wat
[Cube.04] tell me
[Cube.35] don't wanna go into details over a monitored network....
[Cube.04] its not monitored
[Cube.04] as it is we r too taxed to look at htese logs
[Cube.04] too much issues to handle
[Cube.35] tomm...won't take long...
[Cube.35] would that be okay ?
[Cube.04] he he
[Cube.04] I hope its not a prank
[Cube.35] no sanjogita...no pranks...
[Cube.04] okkie.I dont trust ne one
[Cube.04] but will trust u this time
[Cube.35] i appreciate that...and thank you...

Friday, February 13

Oh. My. God!

Unsolicited and mass transmitted Valentine greetings! This is the bloody f*cking height of SPAM by Undisclosed Recipient. Why would someone think that mass-mailing EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the office is a good idea ? And it isn't even Valentine's yet!!!

In recent days, I've noticed a subtle organizing of the females amongst themselves. The internal whispering ratio is on an increase and the one word that is often overheard would be the name of their leader.

Undisclosed Recipient. My enemy.

Someone so smart that she can't differentiate between a debit card number and a bank account number.

Victory, has never been this easy...

The latest self defense mechanism developed by the WLF is to call all office males their 'Brothers'. Having no regard for our country's traditions and the importance given to the sacred bond between a brother and his sister, the women have cheapened yet another thing we hold dear.

Undisclosed Recipient has started a campaign of abuse and hate against me. Everytime I enter the support cabin to visit my good friend, the Supreme Sysad, I'm assaulted with words like 'Booger', 'Bugger' and 'Idiot'. But thats not all, it seems she's aping my formal style of disguising herself at work. Words like, "If you please" and "Kindly send such & such" are being thrown around while decent salwar kurtas are being used to hide subversive intentions.

I pray I have the strength to fight this evil that has overtaken our workspace.

I only hope I can stop the rot before it crosses over TheWall.

ps: Several of you don't recognize the names I've used here. Within a few days, I hope to have character profiles and pictures of each employee in place.

ppss: My daily-dialogue-a-day for the Inet-direct Women’s Liberation Front -
"Challenge given. Challenge Accepted. Dead Rabbits Forever!"

Sunday, February 8

Jimmy has been 'co-erced' into seeing the error of his ways and shall now serve as a conduit into their discussions on the mailing list. The Supreme Sysad has subscribed himself and me to the list aswell...just incase Jimmy tries a triple-cross.

As for now, I realize inaction can be a weapon too. For now, I shall wait and watch. I shall not send any emails to their list and reveal my knowledge of their plans.

Sometimes I feel the best way would be to use a baseball bat to swing some sense into their heads.

One good little Whack...just one...a soft crunchy sound and then, Peace.

'womenfront@alt.internal.inet-direct.com' is now a reality.

Undisclosed Recipient (my sworn nemesis), subverted one of my most trusted comrade, Jimmy Pathak, into granting her List-Creation rights.

This betrayal from within was an attack for which I can respect my foe. The last few months of cold Ignoration had made me complacent. But now, I fear I may be too late.

Already, one of the Pirates is leaving, no longer able to bear the humiliation and physical abuse inflicted upon his poor self by Ms. Kamble, a WLF member.
I've stepped up my Timetable of Doom and inducted a new member into the Inet-Direct Smoker's Union. Plans for a 'Inet-Direct MovieGoer's Association' are being floated. The 'Inet-Direct Coffee-Drinker's Co-Operative' has already been launched.

My plan of battle is simple - They make one organization. I make ten.

The only reason men have staved off the inevitable evolutionary submission to women is because of our numbers. And luck. I shall need both in my fight.

Thursday, February 5

Biz-Dev

God help me, there's even a word for them!

Thursday, January 29

Before the slaughter but after the lamb is fattened, the butcher sharpens his knives. I sharpen mine. sharpen..sharpen...

The Art of MindFuck, Step #1.
Completely and absolutely deny all knowledge of anything the victim Subject ever talks to you about. Remove 'in reference to this' from your vocabulary.

"Don't go by his looks. He's not innocent at all!"

Is this how HR introduces an employee to new recruits ?
By destroying any hopes I have of maintaining at least a halfway decent impression for the first few months...

But it matters not.

Today, I saw the multi-headed snake that is IWLF.

Undisclosed Recipient is merely a front. Her innocence a guile to mislead those with root access. Already she has gained insider stories of all office breakups and ongoing courtships.

What will this information be used for ?
Deeds most foul, no doubt.

Which makes my war (on company time) even more important.

I will not fail.

Saturday, January 24

The growing rift between the newbloods and the old guard is slowly being demolished. One training session at a time.

Already, the single-minded initiative and energy, found only in new recruits, is bringing to a boil the old traditions and inter-office political scenes. Soon, insurrection will begin afresh.

Meanwhile, I search for aim. Once my faceted mind gains the ruthless edge of purpose, I shall cut down all who stand in the path of Company Dominion.

Oh...and here's my daily dialogue for the silly Women's Liberation Front - "Who says this is a democracy ? This is Inet-Direct!".

Friday, January 23

"Scriptures on the wall
Those who betray all must fall
If you cross my path
I'll make sure you feel my wrath
THIS MEANS WAR!"

Two days ago, going through the employee chat logs, I came across a conversation between my sworn enemy and the HR Dept. It seems talks are on for the formation of a "Inet-Direct Women's Liberation Front".

Very calmly, I asked myself 'What oppression are these foolish girls facing to warrant such a step ?'
In fact, it's the men (mostly me) who feel the oppressive need to take daily showers and wear freshly ironed clothes to avoid feminine upturned noses and crinkling eyes.

I am not fooled.

There can be only one reason for this plot (and yes, it is a plot!) and that is to further victimize my poor and humble friend, the Supreme SysAd.

Supremo has lost 6 kilos of pure, telugu fat worrying about the obvious attention seeking tactics of his once-loved. In a gesture of magnimonious generosity, even I declared a cease to all hostilities against her. Lately, there has been a silent practise of ignoration between us.

No more.

You don't shashay your way into my workplace and hope to start forming militant groups of your own.
You don't go around wearing t-shirts telling us to quit smoking.
You don't. You simply don't.

If you push me against a wall, sooner than later, I WILL push back.

And you don't want that.

Oh, by the way, here's my two words for the Inet-Direct Women's Liberation Front - Ha. Ha.

Saturday, December 6

1. edited by request.
Nothing is less motivating than the truth. This website is a platform to broadcast exaggerations of life lived, by me or my characters. Emotional harm is never intended. If my postings have offended you, as a reader, it's your right to ask me to have something removed.

As an author, it's my right to say...haha.

2. One of my true readers, the young PHP-turned-Java guy, claims my words have grown stale and uninteresting. Do I need any further motivation to evolve ?

As of now, Paranous will be undergoing extensive modification, in the frontend (this site) and the backend (my life). Paranous is going into scheduled hibernation. He will be back.

Saturday, November 29

Find Me.

Wednesday, November 26

7 days of absence have made me lethargic. To combat this sudden bout of boredom,
I cut and pasted lines from MyCompliments.txt to the 3 ferocious office females.

Female 1.

[5:47 PM]< cube.35> I really respect your values about such and such...
[5:47 PM]< cube.04> !@#$$%^&*
[5:47 PM]< cube.04> u keep irritating m,e


Female 2.

[5:47 PM]< Cube.35> I really respect your values about such and such...
[5:49 PM]< Cube.46> :S
[5:49 PM]< Cube.46> wot r u talking abt?
[5:49 PM]< Cube.35> no idea...
[5:54 PM]< Cube.46> wot was it?
[5:55 PM]< Cube.46> tell me and tell me straight without streching... :)
[5:56 PM]< Cube.35> i guess i'm just trying to say your children will be pleasant and well behaved...
[5:56 PM]< Cube.35> they would have a good mother...
[5:57 PM]< Cube.46> n wot made u say that??


Female 3.

[5:47 PM]< Cube.35> I really respect your values about such and such...
[5:48 PM]< Cube.45> such and such?
[5:49 PM]< Cube.35> you can add what you like there...my compliments are very flexible...
[5:50 PM]< Cube.45> ? i cant understand wat u talkin abt


And as usual, routine Sedition goes on..

[6:11 PM]< Cube.35> I'm really impressed that you stood up for yourself like that. He had no right to treat you that way.
[6:11 PM]< Cube.45> ya absolutely i agree
[6:11 PM]< Cube.45> i know u r there with me jnu
[6:11 PM]< Cube.35> always...pirates forever !!!
[6:11 PM]< Cube.45> i shall get this to the hr's notice that the ceo is commenting on me
[6:12 PM]< Cube.45> hes not supposed to
[6:12 PM]< Cube.45> i am here to work not 4 ppl to notice me n comment!!!
[6:12 PM]< Cube.45> wat say jnu?
[6:13 PM]< Cube.35> i dont think you should let people make jokes about your size..
[6:13 PM]< Cube.45> i shall do somthin abt this
[6:14 PM]< Cube.45> n now i hope u arent gonna copy paste this conversation to anyone
[6:14 PM]< Cube.45> like u always do
[6:15 PM]< Cube.35> dream on..

Sunday, November 16

The Death of Paranous.

Friday, November 14

I guess I could be pretty pissed
of about what happened to me...
but it's hard to stay mad, when
there's so much beauty in the
world. Sometimes I feel like I'm
seeing it all at once, and it's too
much, my heart fills up like a
balloon that's about to burst...

And then I remember to relax, and
stop trying to hold on to it, and
then it flows through me like rain
and I can't feel anything but
gratitude for every single moment
of my stupid little life...

--Lester Burnham.

[cube.35@server-inet-direct web]$ ls -al

total 9304

drwxrwsr-x    5 cube35   site859      4096 Feb 13 18:38 .

dr-xr-sr-x    5 cube35   site859      4096 Nov 13 13:53 ..

-rw-r--r--    1 cube35   site859       292 Mar 13 13:54 124-ips

drwxr-sr-x    2 cube35   site859      4096 Sep  6 13:11 directi

-rwxr--r--    1 cube35   site859   9320448 Jun 13 14:10 gms-requiem.mp3

drwxr-xr-x   12 cube35   site859      4096 Nov 13 15:19  

-rw-r--r--    1 cube35   site859    151907 Jul 11 14:55 hotndirty.zip

drwxr-xr-x    3 cube35   site859      4096 Oct  4 06:49 webstats

-rw-r--r--    1 cube35   site859      1040 Nov 13 18:38 winstall.txt

[cube.35@server-inet-direct web]$

Thursday, November 13

On November 13th, 2003 the Inet-Direct servers went down for 7 hours, 29 minutes.

I did not cause this.

But I did take advantage of it.
Joshi virus (mentioned in a previous post), has found new homes.
70 network cables were unattached, 70 copies of our VirusGuard were manually updated. Via floppies.

By me.

From the office receptionist to the waiter downstairs, everyone is now a suspect. Mgmt troubleshooters are busy studying VirusCoder profiles to come up with the culprit. Waves of discontent are rippling through the department. The inability to function under such work conditions is being touted by all.

Distractions. My purpose is accomplished.

Wednesday, November 12

We are now tracking Loo-Usage.

By next month, every employee will be issued a proximity card.
After much discussion and subtle threats to HR, I have managed to get my card design customized to look more authoritative. But now I face a privacy crisis.

Everything is being logged. Total visits to the Loo, unique 'Flush' operations performed, amount of soap dispensed. BusinessHead is working on an angle to profit from this, but feeling charitable, he's agreed to subsidize costs for the toilet-paper.

All visitors will be given a visitor 'ID', each bootup requires biometric authorization, the server room has privileged access only. This mean, no more calling friends over for late night Surf parties and LanWars. Another source of income down the drain.

The feeling of impending doom which has followed me around since my childhood days has been hammering continously. While going to take a leak, I'm faced with horrendous visions of sudden pain shooting through my internals due to gallstones or ruptured kidneys. Paper cuts are making me numb with fear of infection and amputations. I'm scared something bad is going to happen to me. Soon.

So far I've been postponing bad luck by touching my forehead and/or wood but sooner or later, my misfortunes will catch up to me.

In more positive news, I have managed to get the board saying "Dogs & Jnu not allowed" removed from the support cabin. Also, people have stopped noticing I've been wearing formal, full sleeve shirts. This took exactly 37 days.

Perfect. From tomorrow, I shall come wearing black trousers and tucked in shirts, with polished black shoes.

As you can see, research is still ongoing for my new book "202 Ways to Screw Fellow Employee Equilibirum".

Thursday, November 6

Today BusinessHead stood watch near the door as I opened Cube.45's OutLook and fwd'ed the picture of our CDO in his boxer shorts and tie to the all.internal list.

It seems my vibes have been busy at work. I'm proud of them.

Mother of God, Help Me!

I thought I could quit. I thought I could go cold-turkey. The tentacles of Jabber have enslaved me once again. Today, I got a message from Cube.46, I wasn't supposed to get it..Unfortunately, she typed it in my window. After 294 hours of isolation, I was ready to clutch out at any contact with a living being.


---
[4:55 PM]< cube.46> aren't u sure ???
[4:56 PM]< cube.35> i'm never sure...are you ?
[4:56 PM]< cube.46> yes always
[4:56 PM]< cube.35> how can you be sure when life itself is never sure ?
[4:56 PM]< cube.35> is our existence sure ?
[4:56 PM]< cube.46> atleast with things concerning me
[4:56 PM]< cube.35> no..
[4:56 PM]< cube.46> I was referring to ur status
[4:57 PM]< cube.35> i don't believe in the caste system or placing statuses on people..everyone is equal, some are just more lucky...
[4:57 PM]< cube.46> jinu u r mad
[4:57 PM]< cube.35> hmm...thats what my granny also told me...how did you know that yaar ?
[4:58 PM]< cube.35> do you know her ?
[4:58 PM]< cube.46> u think I do?
[4:58 PM]< cube.35> i'm not sure...are you ?
[4:58 PM]< cube.46> Yes, I am
[4:58 PM]< cube.35> exactly how sure are you ?
[4:59 PM]< cube.35> maybe you have her confused with someone else's granny ?
[4:59 PM]< cube.46> I don't know her but maybe v think alike....thats y that statement
[4:59 PM]< cube.46> no I have never spoken to anyones granny
[4:59 PM]< cube.46> so the quest doesn't arise
[4:59 PM]< cube.35> are you saying you think like a 67year old ?!!
[5:00 PM]< cube.35> what has happened rachna ?
[5:00 PM]< cube.46> I didn't say that....that was a PUN sentence
[5:00 PM]< cube.35> why have you become so serious in life ?
[5:00 PM]< cube.46> Coz of u jinu
[5:00 PM]< cube.35> are you using puns in self-defense of your unsure self ?
[5:00 PM]< cube.35> do you feel a compulsive need to be sure ?
[5:01 PM]< cube.46> Jinuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
[5:01 PM]< cube.35> is this sense of over achievement getting you down ? is that why you have white hair ?
[5:01 PM]< cube.46> Control Oye
[5:01 PM]< cube.35> are you sure ?
[5:01 PM]< cube.35> would you rather get back to your job & your work ?
[5:02 PM]< cube.46> I will come there and wack u now
[5:02 PM]< cube.46> really
[5:02 PM]< cube.46> u are MAD
[5:02 PM]< cube.46> Pagal
[5:02 PM]< cube.46> INSANE
[5:02 PM]< cube.35> exactly how sure are you of doing that ?
[5:02 PM]< cube.35> how can you be sure of my mental status ?
[5:02 PM]< cube.46> I am dead sure.....
[5:02 PM]< cube.35> have you been talking to my doctor ?
[5:02 PM]< cube.46> shut up
[5:02 PM]< cube.35> how do you know him ?
[5:03 PM]< cube.35> maybe he's lying about me !! maybe he's not even my doctor !!!
[5:05 PM]< cube.46> wanted to talk more but got to get back to work
[5:05 PM]< cube.46> U r CUTE!!!
---


That last statement, I admit, has managed to confuse me too.
After spending a considerable amount of company time, I have explored all possible tangents and have reached 3 conclusions -

1. Perhaps the females are catching onto the best ways of shutting me up.
2. Perhaps someone who knows me told them what to say around me ?
3. Perhaps the 2 loverboys with matching shirts are plotting a plan to delete me. Permanently.

In other news, the HR Dominatrix has been observed going on long tea/coffee/lunch/brunch breaks with our very own cube.25.
Is this the beginning of a soon-to-bloom romantic affair ?
Will Lala.x's heart be broken ?

Stay tuned.

oh...and another chat session..these poor suckers are getting drawn to me like flies to honey!!..snicker..snicker...this time, it's my favourite victim, YogiBear.

---
[5:07 PM]< Cube.04> snaps... ???
[5:08 PM]< Cube.35> send them over...
[5:14 PM]< Cube.04> wait
[5:14 PM]< Cube.04> can u access my system
[5:14 PM]< Cube.04> yogiBear
[5:14 PM]< Cube.35> hmm...i'm pretty sure i know who you are..i don't chat with strangers.
[5:15 PM]< Cube.04> idiot.. system name... yogiBear
[5:16 PM]< Cube.35> let's see, first you are abrupt with me, then rude, then downright insulting...and i'm supposed to do your work ?
[5:16 PM]< Cube.04> me bimaar hu
[5:16 PM]< Cube.35> is that your excuse for everything ? how long will you blame everything on your toe ?
[5:27 PM]< Cube.04> nahi...
[5:28 PM]< Cube.35> my question -- [5:16 PM]< Cube.35>
[5:28 PM]< Cube.35> your reply -- [5:27 PM]< Cube.04>
[5:28 PM]< Cube.35> what were you doing for 11 minutes ?
[5:28 PM]< Cube.35> why were you ignoring me ?
[5:30 PM]< Cube.04> i had gone some where
[5:30 PM]< Cube.35> leaving the support desk unattended ?
[5:31 PM]< Cube.04> dipesh is here
[5:31 PM]< Cube.04> i m not well
[5:31 PM]< Cube.04> having fever n a bad cold n a sore throat
[5:31 PM]< Cube.04> how can u be so inhuman to me
[5:32 PM]< Cube.35> it's easy....not at first, but after practise, i've become very good at it...
[5:58 PM]< Cube.04> wait
[6:13 PM]< Cube.04> u thr
[6:14 PM]< Cube.35> OH MY GOD !!! LOOK AT YOUR TIMELAPSE WOMAN !!! I COULD HAVE WALKED IN, SPOKEN TO YOU, DANCED A BIT AND COME BACK TO MY DESK IN THAT MUCH TIME !!
---

SWEET!!! DAVIDOFF COOLWATER IS SWEET??

I have never heard such an understatement before. That's as good as saying light purple lipstick looks nice. I can't believe girls can be dumb enough to falls for compliments which obviously haven't been given any thought or effort to think up.

It's sad, that the future of Mankind is to be dominated by such innocent conquerors.

Consequences.
I got a reply from the CDO today.

---
[12:58 PM]< CDO> hahaha ....... your plan backfired
[12:59 PM]< Cube.36> i wasn't ready to take you on yet,,,i'll have to practise a little more...
[12:59 PM]< CDO> hahaha ...... not really ...... david won the david v/s goliath ....
[1:01 PM]< Cube.35> hmmm...looks like i played my hand too soon..just keeping Mgmt and my collegues on their toes, as the Company Moral Manager
[1:01 PM]< CDO> u want your card to change to reflect this new self-bestowed title ?
---


Unexpected consequences, I admit. But the enemy always f*cks up a plan, which is why he's called the enemy. I ride the ChaosFlow, following the whirlwind to it's center. To take heat of my foiled counter-plot, I broadcast a little message to everyone on jabber.

------
< Cube.35> Neo dies. Machines win. Matrix 3. haha.
------


Since it's common knowledge I went for the Matrix:Revolution premiere last night, my disclosure of the movie's end wasn't greeted with enthusiasm. Following is the message I received from the company president.

---------
[1:09 PM]< Ray.14> basket .... ur sal is reduced to ZERO
[1:09 PM]< Ray.14> u r now officially a slave for life
[1:09 PM]< Cube.35> no worries yaar...for 2mbps i'll sell my soul
---------


I should have stayed at home today. I'm taping my mouth shut and disconnecting from Jabber. The only possible thing that can go wrong now is I go to meet 'Aunty' and get picked up by law enforcers.

touchwood.

Wednesday, November 5

FROM: CUBE.35@INET-DIRECT.NET
TO: CEO@INET-DIRECT.NET
SUBJ: HARASSMENT.

All i want is to get some work done, earn my pay. Thats why I put myself through the stress of waking up every morning, showering, putting on my clothes and coming to work. And what do I get ?

Conspiracies! plotted against me. By amateurs.

First, Businesshead msg'es me the transcript of his chat with Cube.14.

---
< Cube.35> [3:47 PM]< Business.H> dude, it seems you have a problemo...
natasha's felt bad cause you think you have competition after shes come in "the corner" was sort of crying and all..... i just asked her 10mins back why she was quiet etc and.........[3:48 PM]
---


Being a nice guy (pretending to be one, atleast) I msg'ed Cube.14, cutting & pasting Businesshead's chat into her window and enquired about her wellbeing, projecting a concerned but nonchalant tone.

------
< Cube.35> hello ?? are you okay ?
------


She replied back.

---------
< Cube.14> ya i am ok
< Cube.14> but i felt realy bad
< Cube.14> when u said all that
< Cube.14> i mean how u fee u have competiton.....i jus laugh coz i feel happy
---------


Hmm...Then Businesshead, like an amateur intriguer tries to push his projected truth deeper in my head. Something which a professional would never have attempted.

------------
[3:54 PM]< Cube.14> u shudnt have told jinesh namit,,wat will he feel now
he'll tink so ill abt me,, he'll say that shes such a stuck up she cant even take a joke!!
------------


And the young newbie (smelling of CoolWater) attempts to push it even further.

------------
< Cube.14> jnu wat is this u cant leave a conversation like this?? if there is somthing u have felt bad ....u can temme.. i am sorry. i didnt mean to hurt u
------------


And then, attempting to showing concern for a fellow teamster, Business.H sends me his chat with Cube.14.

---------------
< Business.H> [4:04 PM] he's joking ya... no he's not replyin to me also
---------------


Foolishness. The kind exhibited only in days of carefree youth. I don't hold it against them. They're young, they'll learn. I remember, when I was young, I too plotted and played. But age has shown me the error of my ways.

But of course, there's always the question of respect. If I keep a dignified silence, it'll give them a license to play some more. They lay down a challenge. According to the ancient laws of Man, I accepted.

Business.H has been getting one ring calls on his extension.

One ring. Stop. Pause.
One ring. Stop. Pause.
One ring. Stop. Pause.
One ring. Stop. Pause.
One ring. Stop. Pause.
One ring. Stop. Pause.
One ring. Stop. Pause.
One ring. Stop. Pause.

But this is only a diversion. To distract them while I send you this email.
To ask you for justice! I place my faith in the system, a copy has been fwd'ed to HR.

I await your decision.
yours faithfuly,

Cube.35.
a humble employee.

Tuesday, November 4

Businesshead has now been called a 'Chugli-Thing' by the chocolate eating fiend on my right. My ears are now filled with sounds of innane girl-giggles and whispered endearements on a cellphone constantly plastered to radiation saturated ears and wafting through it all, comes the smell of Davidoff's Cool Water. Another dumbass invention of a guy thoroughly convinced women need more weapons to defeat us!

Today, she proudly announced "I'm going home..I'm hungry". Then she left. At 6:27pm. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Why didn't I think of this ? Instead of thinking up believable excuses and plots to spazz at home, I should have gone upto Businesshead and spoken my mind.

For the last few days, my psychic vibes have existed in a state of imbalance. The period of calm blandness which had pervaded the Company is now coming to an end. Another circle, another pattern.
Synchronicity mates with the seeds of entropy. Instead of resisting change, I'm using it's own agents to carve a hole for myself to crawl into.

The Newbloods have brought with them a sense of purpose and initiative which has rejuvenated the foul, acrid odour of constant profit. The cubes suck us to nurture the CompanyMother and we leech mana from the newbloods to let the great beast called Organization suckle our life. A vicious cycle. Of course, the newbloods will be drained, like us. But there's still time.

I might have accidentally let it slip that all chat sessions were logged. And documented. In front of a girl who never has less than 3 chat windows open on her screen at any given time of the day. One of those blinking Exodus windows will always happen to be the CEO's. The result was predictable. A full minute of silence while the implications of chat-logs sank in. Another minute to mentally go through the chat conversations before finally deciding, Yes..not all chats were harmless.

I joked about starting a union. For the employees. To safegaurd their rights. In her already weakened condition, Cube.14 found it to be a marvellous idea. In fact, a few more days next to me and she'll get the Union ratified through the CEO himself.

voila! I have my little insurgency, officially sanctioned and a figurehead to absorb all blame.

In other news, my fellow comrades lost beyond the wall, do not lose hope. I have not forgotten. The time shall come when we reclaim TheCorner!

A time of change. Of revolution.

Insurgency, Now!

Monday, November 3

My identity came under scrutiny today. Thankfully, my eel-like prowess managed to throw my pursuer off trail.


----------------
[6:06 PM]< cube.45> who said jamanbai then?
[6:07 PM]< cube.35> thats my school...i know it sounds funny...
[6:07 PM]< cube.45> dude....thats my question are you from jamanbai?
[6:07 PM]< cube.45> jns
[6:08 PM]< cube.35> SHUTTUP !!! which year ?
[6:08 PM]< cube.45> 96-97
[6:08 PM]< cube.45> you
[6:09 PM]< cube.35> 96 !!!! no kidding ?!!! or is this another of saurabh's practical jokes ???!!!!
[6:09 PM]< cube.45> nope dude ,,96-97.with amit
[6:09 PM]< cube.35> which amit ??!!1 apna amit ?
[6:10 PM]< cube.45> amit bhavnani
[6:10 PM]< cube.45> he's my batch mate
[6:10 PM]< cube.45> which yr did you finish
[6:11 PM]< cube.35> shuuttup !! aare i used to tease him with his gf in school all the time !!! i was in kapil's batch...i think a year senior to you guys...
[6:11 PM]< cube.45> give me some names
[6:12 PM]< cube.35> hmm..let's see there was kaushik,,,always wearing extra deo and kapil,,mostly i hung around with the gujju gang ?!! u know them, right ?
[6:13 PM]< cube.45> hmm, akhil almedia.,and nividita bijlani........
[6:14 PM]< cube.35> shiit...dosn't ring a bell...were they in my batch ?
[6:14 PM]< cube.45> dunno dude, did you know vishal shah
[6:14 PM]< cube.45> chirag shah
[6:14 PM]< cube.35> i knew vishal parikh...no shah...
[6:14 PM]< cube.45> i know vishal parek
[6:14 PM]< cube.35> chirag's the specy guy ?
[6:14 PM]< cube.45> yup
[6:15 PM]< cube.35> oohh...he went to the states or something, dint he
[6:15 PM]< cube.35> ??
[6:15 PM]< cube.45> so your two years elder
[6:15 PM]< cube.45> dunno about that
[6:15 PM]< cube.45> you remebetr your teachers , jolly kuriakose , lata munjal..
[6:15 PM]< cube.45> dolly edulberium
[6:20 PM]< cube.35> dude, all i remember is that school was the worst mistake of my life !!! i remember when i got into the fight with ramchandani in the bathroom !!! no one told him anything and suspended me !!!
[6:20 PM]< cube.45> hehe
[6:20 PM]< cube.35> infact, now that i know you're also from the same school for bullies, my whole opinion about you has changed...
[6:21 PM]< cube.45> which junior colege
[6:21 PM]< cube.35> how many kids did you bully ?
[6:21 PM]< cube.35> how many did you send home crying ??!!
[6:21 PM]< cube.45> none, had to keep a clean rep.....
[6:21 PM]< cube.45> cause mum was a teacher there
[6:21 PM]< cube.35> how many cannot sleep at nights, sacred with fear which you GAVE THEM ?!!!!
[6:21 PM]< cube.35> how many charles ??!!!!
[6:22 PM]< cube.35> HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF !!!
[6:23 PM]< cube.45> dude , relax
[6:23 PM]< cube.45> i wont kill you , mayb break a couple of bones
[6:23 PM]< cube.35> wooh...just kidding, i'm not from jamnabai...studied in g.d.somani, did my 11th in MMk then went off to perth...
[6:23 PM]< cube.45> :o.son of a gun
[6:24 PM]< cube.45> now im going to kill you

---------------

Friday, October 31

Another day. Another Friday. And the chocolate saga continues.
I hate chocolates. I detest the way the name sounds while passing through my ear canals.

Or do I ?
Is this what I asked for when I said the company spirit was getting bland. When the company soul was in danger of being overrun by boredom and my ever present companion, the sin of prolonged procrastination ?

Thursday, October 30

HelpDesk Analyst Training has shifted focus and suddenly become "Cube.25's Life 101". We now have intimate knowledge of his life, wife and the fight he had with his wife on the station.

He's kissed Mgmt-Ass, quoted the CDO and sand praises for the company President, all in three paragraphs.

Now, he's spearheading a movement to exchange personal feedback about all team members, including himself.

I'm psychologically weak. I dont' want anyone giving me feedback about myself. I might snap and kill the damn fool.

Another thing, he publicaly declared Paranoid.Pande to be gay. This is not something I would take light-heartedly.

Incidentally, neither has P.Pande.

Monday, October 27

On a personal note, cube.04, who was the reason I closed this Blog has made another attempt to molest my dignity, honour and reputation. The office snaps have been changed. Dushy's snap has been labelled properly, is of a big size while all others have numerals added to them and are small enough to require a microscope to view.

WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE THIS !!!? ARE WE NOT HUMANS ? WILL WE NOT BLEED IF CUT ?!! DO WE NOT FEEL ?!!

in other news,
All gangs in the office are being broken up. The newbloods have been mixed with the oldbloods. Predicting this sudden place change, I had carefuly researched and prepared a 1000 word pdf stating reasons from Vastushastra, Fenshui, palmistry, zodiac signs and a few concepts of Reiki on why I MUST sit in a secluded corner to function. I also have a copy of my contract which specifically states I shall be seated only in a corner for the duration of my employment.

I needn't have worried. The new floorplan has just popped into my mailbox. Even though the Pirates have been broken up, my place in the corner remains unchanged. The corner is the confluence point of intra-office vibes. It's a heady mix of psychic energy that collects and pours straight into my corner and into me.

Except, now I share it with a Girl. She's a Virgo, which makes it even worse. Virgo's are immune to my particular brand of illusionary words. As mentioned before, being a personal friend of theBoss means he comes around every 28 minutes on the dot, argues about the taste factor of Toblerone and Ferro Rochers, and makes a hasty retreat after cracking a one liner about this Girl's short stature.

In the world of Man, this is considered to be seduction.

Only problem is with him standing right behind, I have to actually do company work.

hmm...at this rate, my website will never get completed.

Sunday, October 26

http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/y_doshi/lst?.dir=/Directi+Mentals&.view=t

How come only the sys.ad supreme's pictures have been labelled ?
Are we not worthy of deserving NAMES ?!!
Or does she believe him to be "Special" ? hmmm...

She's has also begun to to spam our mailboxes with unwanted bullcrap, all my 7 company email accounts are flooded !! good thing she dosn't know about my pvt accounts. This is what happens when a female is made sysadmin and given power, it goes to her head.

Thursday, October 23

MyDefaultIdentity.
The walkingVirus has joined the Prometheus Brigade. Along with him comes a female to despoil and villify my sanctum sanctorum. The vibes of my corner cubicle now smell of shampoo and perfume. Not my own.

HR has killed my insurgency by ignoring it.

To top it all, the female seems to be on intimate terms with the Boss.

Electro Magnetic theory is the study of finding patterns and predicting how fields will react in varied conditions. From your house fan to this monitor, all use these principles.

There's something else which generates electricity.

The human body.

Each cell of our bodies produce a 50 Millivolt charge while a AAA size battery produces 5 Volts. That's not much. But multiply that by the trillions of cells present in our bodies, each one producing electricity strong enough to light a 40 Watt lightbulb.

This is electricity enough to be measured. To be mapped and predicted.

By us.

Thursday, October 2

It's been 2 days now. Not one email to show you care.

Screw You.

My words are the only expressions I have of life. and Hope.
You will NOT take that away from me.

I spent my hourly break with UltraSalesMan. His vibes have affected me. We have formed a plan of action. We will prepare a FAQ on Paranoid.pande's recruitment test. We'll sell this to new recruits appearing for interviews. The money will be deducted from their first month's salary by the accountants, who we have another deal with.

This money will buy me server space on a non-affiliated hosting company and should be reasonably secure. Entry will be password protected and restricted only to one user -- Me.

If you've come here, then I might as well tell you, i have plans to build up a series of Paranouses with franchises offering customized hardware for the discerning paranoid.

Major motion pictures and a book are also in the making, here are a few possible titles --

Paranous,

• Return of the Paranous


• the Son of Paranous


• Paranous, Rebooted

Goodbye and good riddance. This will be my absolutely last post so don't bother checking back.

Wednesday, October 1

Dear Friends,

I have been sent a cease and desist letter and have been directed to stop posting further on this blog. I realize some of my words have hurt some of you and might have caused others to be mentally scarred for life. This was not my intent.

I am sorry.

The words posted here are fiction and not real. None of this could be real. It was just a way for me to look busy typing on my keyboard while at work.

I apologize.

Yours sincerely,
cube.35

ps: those who care, can email me at cube.35@inet-direct.com. thank you.

Monday, September 29

to: all.internal@lists.inet-direct.com
from: cube.04@inet-direct.com
subj: sexual harassment

if you feel you have been harassed sexually or mentally you must stand up and combat this kind of behaviour by sending a letter to the criminal..

the letter should -

• describe the incident clearly and in detail.


• Say how the you felt about it.


• Ask the perpetuator to stop immediately.
  The letter should be sent by registered mail or email with return receipt requested.


• Be aware of your company's policy on sexual harassment.
  Ask your HR department to mail the policy to all employees.

Got this off the internal announcement mailinglist in the morning. Yogi.d sent it. The rumour mills have been turning overtime. Was this mail sent because she was the victim of sexual harassment recently ? or is this a subtle attempt warning us to change our behaviour ?

As usual, I'm in the forefront of mongering doubt and suspicion amongnst my collegues. Was Paranoid.pande the perpetrator of this heinous crime ? Have the romantic advances of the Supreme SysAd gone sour ? Can ANYONE send an "Anti-Harassment" letter ?? Stay tuned, as we explore the possibilities of sending out Anti-Harassment emails.

Saturday, September 27

Case of the Holy Cable
As a datacenter, we have a varied clientelle who entrust their precious data to us. One of them happens to be the financial backbone of 'TheSadhu.com' which averages a daily collection ranging upwards of $200k, sent via paypal from innocent westerners duped by the teachings of Swami Rajnikant Chakravoorty, Paallanpurwalleh.

A few days back The Swami personally came to our offices and respectfully requested if he could borrow the network cable hooked into his server. The crowd of religious fanatics chanting outside made us respectfully hand over the cable.

He came back a week later, having blessed the cable by seven different pious swamis. Supervised Jimmy.p hooking it back up. 2 hours later, Naggi reports increase in RTT for the packets. 4 hours later, his site's paypal transactions cross the $500k mark.

Doing a traceroute, we found a invisible hop between the switch and the machine. Where were these data packets going ?

[root@webserver-a-inet]$ /usr/sbin/traceroute thesadhu.com



traceroute to thesadhu.com (208.257.2.139), 30 hops max, 38 byte packets



  1    <1 ms    <1 ms    <1 ms  GATEKEEPER [192.168.0.1]

  2     7 ms     5 ms     5 ms  203.199.112.89

  3     6 ms     7 ms     8 ms  202.183.79.77

  4     4 ms     5 ms     4 ms  202.183.66.21

  5     4 ms     7 ms     6 ms  202.183.66.27

  6     4 ms     4 ms     4 ms  202.183.68.223

  7     6 ms     5 ms     5 ms  202.54.118.2

  8     7 ms     6 ms     5 ms  202.54.118.5

  9     9 ms     9 ms     6 ms  203.199.22.155

 10   210 ms   210 ms   209 ms  iar5-so-2-0-2.newyork.cw.net [208.173.135.217]

 11   209 ms   210 ms   210 ms  ae0-54.bbr2.newyork1.level3.net [64.159.17.98]

 12   284 ms   283 ms   281 ms                           ¿

 13   282 ms   283 ms   285 ms  gig10-2.ipcol3.sanjose1.level3.net [64.159.2.169]

 14   284 ms   285 ms   284 ms  unknown.level3.net [64.152.69.30]

 15   284 ms   284 ms   288 ms  w1.rc.vip.scd.thesadhu.com [66.218.71.198]



Trace complete.

The current rumour making office rounds is that the data packets are being routed through to Heaven. The holy cable is actually working.

Businesshead's planning on implementing this as Value Added Feature for all our customers.

An open line to God.

I hope we don't end up spamming him.

"The universe is not aware of your existence. Relax!"

"Assumptions affect observation.
observation breeds conviction.
conviction produces experience.
experience generates behaviour.
which, in turn, confirms assumptions.

Is it reality you are responding to or your
assumptions about it ?"

-- The prayer of the Frog.

Friday, September 26

Humans move within a common state of a progression, one of natural ignorance to taught ignorance.

"we equate happiness to some value, thats our mistake, i feel relaxed and nice when i relate it to x, when there's a change in x, i'm not happy."

Adults have lost their convictions with which they upheld their crowns of mature authority while children have become full of passionate intensity which acknowledges the presence of intelligent extra-terrestrials but debates the existence of God.

Thursday, September 25

Ray14 is one of 7 seven people in this world who can map and restructure the complex patterns in which information flows through the ethersphere. Have you seen the sandra bullock starrer 'The Net' where her identity gets stolen & reconfigured ? Ray14 is the guy who can do that but won't cause it's too boring.

He's my boss.

"A computer firm is a world unto itself. Corners occupied by developers, coffee machines drained empty by programmers who can't be bothered going home to shower, broken relationships, hypertense emotions and disjointed thoughts in various resolutions. It differs from an ancient corporate in only one way, the quest here is for the erotic thrill of knowledge...of converting raw data into information. And applying it.

It functions as a democratic heirarchy. Each group in its own class. Starting from Mgmt, Sysads, Coders, Support and Sales. The Accountants are in a privilaged class of their own. They are the one thread connecting us to the bitter tax brackets of reality.

Each class is a law unto itself, capable of being governed only by the most stringent of HR managers. This is why HR posts are more often than not filled by elderly women (27+) who look and act as matrons. Each class stays in its limits, never straying into the domain of another, except without prior permission. There are no over-the-shoulder snoopers. An email or chat window is cause enough to turn your head away while the recipient browses through it. Etiquette is the first thing a new recruit picks up.

Which moody coder to avoid, which sysad will reset your forgotten password without reporting it, how to live & breathe in sub-polar climate controlled temperatures and how not to go around bragging about your skills. Most offices have cadres, coalitions of subversives upon whom rests the future growth of the company.

They'll be the ones who dress down in chappals, torn tshirts & jeans.
Without a care in the world, they know exactly what they're capable of and their attitude shows it. Inquisitive and thirsty for new knowledge, they'll seldom laugh at geek jokes except amongst themselves.

But there's Freedom. Each and every good techhead knows that given time, he can learn and move himself into a different class. He may never possess the flair or mindset of a natural programmer but he can learn and improve himself. There are no barriers. The very nature of the EtherSphere allows unrestricted dispersal of information. The mind should be capable of absorbing, not merely browsing.

There is no discrimination, no one looking down on you. Every person takes the other's skillset for granted. Most will even try and help you explore their part of the binary realms. That is, unless you happen to be a Java programmer. Everyone knows Java sucks and you should probably resign yourself to spending the rest of your office life with other destitute java programmers, breathing up valuable oxygen and contributing only to the Gods of Bloat and NullPointer Exceptions."

- 'Corporate Rape of a Virgin Mind'.
a collabarative guide to managing IT workers.

As some of you might know, I have been operating an independent, per-minute update of Hive:Project's launch under the pseudonym of Action.Jackson..Unfortunately, someone in the company corporate structure has deemed it must stop. Following is an excerpt from the
--Launch.Monitor--
Today is the last day of Action.Jackson's continuous, real-time tracking of the WHI Launch. Mngmt has expressed concern over these posts, claiming business privacy and confidentiality issues...In deference, this site shall be put under password-restricted access on a local network from tomorrow. My comments will be under moderation by the company content manager. I will keep posting with every breath of my drowning voice.

Goodluck and God bless.

some more emails sent.

01:30AM

We have launched. Goodnight.

08:30AM

Servers blacklisted. Back to work.


In other news, theJavaGuy's been named the Development & Deployment officer in charge of the project. For the last 2 months now, he's been undercover, mixing & mingling with us, listening to us crib, whine, moan, groan & bitch about the project. Now he's heading it, armed with insider info. He knows all our quick workarounds and patches. He'll make us fix all of them.

Mngmt's perfect little mole inside the Pirates of Hive. This is the kind of business strategy that makes me proud to be working here.

Wednesday, September 24

Hive::Project is but a precursor to the LogicBox.
Trillions of bytes of data is generated every day. LogicBox is a distributed networking and software solution to parsing that data, correlating it and providing a box model. From cellphone bills to your hotmail account, every aspect of your digital life is logged, tracked and analyzed to provide a 85% accurate pattern statement for marketing companies, politicians and governments.

Now imagine a cluster of these LogicBoxes, working as one towards a common goal -- to predict you & your life.

With 85% accuracy.

Tuesday, September 23

Listening to Annie Lenox's 'No more I love U's'...jinesh's song. i hope he's doing okay. Even if he isn't, he can probably delude himself into thinking he is. we're 58 minutes to launch..i think about my life. 11:34pm in a small cubicle is where we change the economic globalscape, forever. May God forgive us.

The compliance officer, Paranoid.pande's walking up and down the hallway. The premises have been cleared of all personnel not actively working on the project. The final key rests in Paranoid.pande's left trouser pocket. A small, black oblong shaped plastic keychain with a LCD display that synchronizes it's internal password with the NeuLevel registry every 120 seconds by bouncing off signals from 9 different GPS satellites.

We're now 52 minutes to launch and planning a security breach to keep ourselves from passing out.
Paranoid.pande is 26, a Virgo. He reads Harry Potter and loves dogs. He's also very protective about his passwords. Tiewallah still has a black eye from when he tried to read Paranoid.pande's hotmail password by snooping behind his computer. It took 5 security guards to restrain him from bashing the slimeball's brains out. Paranoid.pande's passwords are scribbled on his sleeping bag which he carries around in a titanium-lined briefcase. He is a passionate company man and the only one who comes close to my level of paranoia.

47 minutes to launch. Time to shred his soul. AslamBhai, the local Don, will work with me on this, along with UltraSalesman. We'll publish his passwords on All.Internal, scarring him mentally for the rest of his life. We're now 46 minutes to launch.

Sunday, September 21

Hive::Project Motto --> Can't Fix ? Obfuscate..

Saturday, September 20

Jimmy.pathak - the Meditating SysAd believes himself to be a reincarnation of Jimi Hendrix. Meet him on chat and his opening line is "hmm..I see we chat again..". For those not familiar with HendrixTalk, he uttered the words "I see we meet again" to a crowd of 400,000 people at WoodStock'69. He goes to install servers and forgets them. (7 times). Comes to work on Sunday where he jams with mngmnt. Currently he's composing lyrics to sentimental songs written by our CDO.

HairyDushy.h - the Casanova SysAd got promoted to Systems Manager a month back, since then he's made it compulsory for everyone to call him Supreme SysAd or else he throttles off our bandwidth. Lala.x and me have corrupted his lungs to smoke the dark path of BombayBlack. Has a girlfriend called Uma who he's digitally cheating on. Construction work in office made us share our terminals with the support people, he spent most of his time chatting with Yogi.D.

Yogi.D - One of the cute ladies with specs. Sits quietly at her desk, wearing gold-rimmed specs, dusky brown hair cut a little above her shoulders and a facial structure that resembles Meg Ryan, with a lot more mature intensity. It's worthwhile mentioning here that our Supreme Sysad is a fan of Meg Ryan, or as he puts it "more than.. Just a fan"
Bowing under pressure from our Supreme SysAd, under the guise of doing research for my book, I'm forced to ask her the below questions -
q.1) What food do you like ?
q.2) what music do you like ?
q.3) what's your favourite icecream ?
q.4) what kind of movies do you like ?
q.5) do you beleive in God ?
q.6) do you fast for a good husband ?
q.7) what career do you see for youself in the future ?
q.8) is there something about you which you want people to know ?

She's also the only who chooses to ignore this questionaire. Goddamn Snob !!

{special.note}
she finally replied back,,this makes her even cuter in dushy's book...
q.1) What food do you like ?-- all types.. unconventional...
q.2) what music do you like ? all kinds.. Desert Rose.. all time fav.
q.3) what's your favourite icecream ?..... any thing will do
q.4) what kind of movies do you like ?English...
q.5) do you beleive in God ?Yes!
q.6) do you fast for a good husband ?No....
q.7) what career do you see for youself in the future ? hmm.... In security.. even in Landscaping...
q.8) is there something about you which you want people to know ?...hmmm...

Eskimo.d - The inter-office ChatBox and Holy Woman. another one of the cute ladies with specs. Gold rimmed. Long hair caged up in a ponytail. Dresses in salwar kameezes, always with a dupatta. mustn't forget, the Thuggee cults of 1830's practised strangulation with cloth shawls. she turns the climate control down to 9c and freezes the rest of us, only on saturdays..I still have to research if this has possible religious connotations..
she's also the only one who replied to my 'pretty lady' questionnaire -
q.1) What food do you like ?
Ans. Chinese (Veg), pani puiri, whatever my mom cooks..everything chatpatta, rasgulla...etc.its endless
q.2) what music do you like ?
Ans. Songs from hindi movies (oldies), few selected english songs..but i dont like rock music.
q.3) what's your favourite icecream ?
Ans Choco bar and all the flavours from Naturals ice cream parlour.
q.4) what kind of movies do you like ?
Ans Which have lots of humor..
q.5) do you beleive in God ?
Ans: Yes and its because of this faith in him that i still believe human beings
q.6) do you fast for a good husband ?
Ans Yes i did fast for a good husband (U can have a loud laugh now)
q.7) what career do you see for youself in the future ?
ans: housewife.
q.8) is there something about you which you want people to know ?
ans: the amount i talk everyone already knows about me

Gregory.dimitrovich - a russian expat who gets more calls than the company frontdesk from old friends forgotten in childhood. Strangely, his weekly call statements show only a quarter of the call costs he normally should be incurring. He's a student of philoshophy, always pondering the meaning of 'Freedom'. Strong sense of morality & duty makes him a primo communist. Sometimes I wonder, could the Komitet Godarstevenoy Besnoplasti be interested in an IT firm capable of changing the world ? I have gained his trust, or he simply tolerates me..none the less, I'm keeping an eye on him.

Amit.b - my division head. Natural spammer and code optimizer. keeps his personal life to himself. supposedly has a girlfriend, a steady one..started coding in java. It should be noted that so far, I've found only java guys having the time or inclination to go through the hard work of acquiring and maintaining female friends in real time. I've seen him scam google algos more than once..as warmup.

Wednesday, September 17

A strategic visualizer is a circle unto himself. Once assigned a task, he'll hunt down his goal like a rabid dog.
hmm..like a ninja, actually.
The more rigid a structure, the more fun can be had bringing it down from within. For the good of TheCompany, of course.
We have new HR managers coming in, if they're any good, there are bound to be changes. I shall wait and watch. I will learn. Human Resource Management can easily provide me with refined tactics to use in my own little insurgency.
I think these thoughts while we chalk out the business model for our coalition, based on LaLa.X's plan of modularity.
Sitting over plates of rice and fish cooked manglorian style with red curry, we climbed the first step of revolution. Change, within ourselves.
Within our perceptions.

I came across this press release I typed up in my first week of work. It's been 10 months.
10 long months of short nights and inebriated days. 10 months of code written, rewritten and trashed. sometimes implemented.

Web hosting company InetDirect has moved its servers out of 4 Bungalows, M.G Marg in Andheri and into it's newly built $2.3 million data center at Linkway Estate, Link Rd. Malad.
It was once a subsidiary of NetJenie, which filed for bankruptcy protection amid fraud charges against founder and former chairman Amar Sulekha and his two sons. InetDirect is renting the new data center from Patel Realty Ltd., the owner of the building.

The data center provides enough back-up power to keep the 174,000 Web-site clients of InetDirect up and running for a month without refueling, said the president and CEO of the Mumbai-based company, known only by his hacker nick, 'Ray14'.

The data center has a 3,300-gallon, 950-kilowatt diesel generator and a redundant battery plant located in a 30- by-297-foot room filled with dozens of batteries that could run the network if a prolonged blackout ever happened, Ray14 said. The batteries are bolted to a steel platform to keep them in place in case of an earthquake. The data center also has three 30-ton air-conditioning systems and a fourth standby system to cool the network, as well as five fire-suppression systems that displace oxygen, killing any fire and saving the costly equipment.

Armed guards patrol the grounds and company premises along with highly trained rottweilers. Ray14 said the company was "prepared for anything."

Now that InetDirect is in the 8,300-square-foot data center, the company plans to go after new customers who want to locate their servers at InetDirect's center. InetDirect is also starting what Ray14 called a "business continuity" service. Companies could back up their information at the data center in real-time and operate out of the data center if other offices were closed because of a catastrophe.

"Since 9/11, companies have been almost mandated to look at solutions such as this--to have an outside facility where they can maintain operations," Ray14 said. "We could offer a small office with a computer and telephone for an official of a company to come to this facility and maintain the critical operations."

InetDirect got its start in 1996. Ray14 was working as an intern during the day and tinkering with a $7,000 computer server on his dining table at night.

InetDirect reported revenues of $900,000 last year and expects to close this year with revenue of $1.3 million.

A ribbon-cutting to celebrate the opening of the new office is scheduled.

Tuesday, September 16

Downloading R
The file started our as a tar.gzip. It denied all attempts to download. Random names are assigned, efforts to alter the file system made. Supreme SysAdmin's running around checking manuals. Businesshead is wondering if the server should be locked down to protect the data's integrity. TieWallah, as usual, is roaming around expressing amazement at everyone's skill level.
Amit has mysteriously disappeared. Employee.x's login message springs to my mind. Could our actions have pushed him to this magnificent level of attacking the company's efforts directly ?
Is this his final stand ? A brave coder's final attempt to guide his beloved company back on the path of light & righteousness ?
Or is he just taking a leak ?
Stay tuned. As we find out.

Our repeated requests for playing music during work hours has resulted in the CDO playing piped music with subliminal messages to increase productivity.
the fare includes "Work hard!", "dont sleep!", "Obey Me!"
This is my kind of a company.

Saturday, September 13

Joshi Lives!

the JoshiVirus is a boot sector infector written to display the msg "Happy Birthday mr.Joshi" on Januray 5th. It gained widepsread notoriety by January 1990 but has now become extinct. It was unique in the fact that it was India's first virus export to the world.

To gain experience as a system architect, I have commenced writing specs for a network virus which spreads using the internet but only infects machines connected to an internal LAN. Once executed, it'll hunt down the logfile folder of your chat client and share it locally, exposing all employee chats to my inquisitive eyes. If Mngmt can spy on employees, so can I.

As a mark of honour, I have christened it 'the Voice of Joshi'.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium - my work here is done.

The Beyond Within, is a phrase meant to evoke a ypical response "wooh..that's..deep !". Ever heard anyone say, "I seek Oblivion Lost" ? 87% of the time, you're response will be, "woo..thats..deep !"

Hive::Project
IP-to-person mapping. 7.9 terrabytes being processed to provide the ultimate tool for spammers. Mngmt says the defination of spam is "an automated process sending out unwanted commercial offers".
We're using 2000 data entry operators to sit and manually sort through the DB dump to send offers which we KNOW you want. This exempts us from the Anti-Spam laws.

I have thought it through. I am certain of the direction this part of the book will take. I will seek refuge in a desert of the Real, I will read, write & document all that occurs here.

I am the human keylogger. I am the HR nightmare come to life.
I am Cube.35 and this is where I work.

f*ckit all.

Conversations on IM can be severely indicative of your mental state.
Mngmt will always use 'k..' to say okay, single K and 2 dots.
Amit uses 'okee', which in my opinion, acts as a pacifier.
Manny never bothers replying his confirmations.

Thursday, September 11

The JavaGuy's pc is called LethalMachine. He claims he's not a java programmer but a codecaster in C++ instead. I know the truth. He's the new HR manager performing in covert mode. His daily inspirational messages have given him away. I'm on full alert. His seating next to me is no coincidence.

After extensive research and carefull observation, I have reached the conclusion that females make the poorest of drivers. This isn't due to a lack of hand-eye co-ordination, as most commonly assumed. This is simply because women don't put their lives on the line every time they get behind the wheel. The truth is, Men are naturally hardwired to risk life and limb while performing the most mundane of tasks, like getting from point A to B in a steel coffin at 110mph.
I fear that genetic markup like this is going to aid Darwin's Evolution to slowly & surely weed out the weak. I fear my species is going the way of the humble Dodo and there's nothing I can do to aid my fellow Men. I have yet to accept my destiny of eventual domination by Females, due to their natural superiority.

Wednesday, September 10

There are 3 different degress of computer users.

1. There are those who use the machine in their daily life and sometimes make an effort to find out more about it.


2. There are ones who have grown up surrounded by technology and
   
   And then there are people like Manny who live, eat, breathe & shit in binary. Fanatics who choose to be disconnected from real time & space.

Subject: [InetDirect-All.internal] Internal IM network down!!

Hi guys,

The internal IM server is down cos the server in which it is running has some hard disk related probs. It will be restored sometime tomorrow..

dushy


Like i don't know what this means. The keylogger rumours have passed.
Workplace privacy has become a passe issue. Unobserved and uncared about, the mngmt shall replace the HD with one corrupted by the stains of employee-produced profit.

Tuesday, September 9

Greg Thinks.
Gregory.Dimitrovich is a sacramental humanist. He believes a defination at once clarifies, at once limits. Upon being wished good luck & do well, he replies "Why Not ?"

Thursday, September 4

had a freaky deja-vu happen. triggered by namit talking to amit about red and spaces..something..'poststable's id' keeps going popping up..i know i'm missing something...probable time loss here.
Brought on by digital fatigue & strain ?
Or should i be worried about mind control and subconcious memory implantations being carried out on us while we lie still through it like zombies ?
Why not ? i've been paranoid about everything else so far.

"the brave young man fails to make php output colourful graphs with shading effects. Hours turn into days of frustrated attempts at modifying libraries to no avail.
One day he walks in holding 'Java & You - the definative guide'.
2 days & a litre of coffee later, he can output shaded pie graphs with strokes worthy of a Picasso. He has given in to the sinfully bloated siren song of the servlet. He's also the only one who's walks the path of hard work & diligence. We surrendered our souls to the far greater evil of sloth & feet-dragging a long time back.
He too shall join us.

Wednesday, September 3

Check it out !